I do love clocks and calendars and the history of time measurement, but it is good to remember that we are not clocks, and our children are not clocks.
Written by a mom who was cranky because who had a plan to go straight home and take a nap with her son, but when he saw his friend outside he wanted to play:
I guess coming home with a tired child that suddenly wants to go play because he saw his friend... is just too much for me.I responded:
Tired is often relative. There are times I would rather sleep than do anything else that's presenting itself. But when a friend of ours showed up from Alaska after we were asleep once (before the days of e-mail or cellphones), we happily jumped up, made food, heard stories, and talked for two hours.And then Marta Pires saved it; thank you, Marta.There have been times my husband was really exhausted if someone calls with a problem or needs a rescue, he "suddenly wants" to get up and help them.
Seeing a friend is THE BEST reason to want to go play!
Little children know nothing of the clock or "tomorrow" or "later."
It will help for parents to learn to live in the moment rather than by the clock, too. The clock is not sleepy. The clock is not hungry. Look at what your real, immediate child needs in the moment, and find ways to adjust your thinking so that it is not always too much for you. SOMEtimes maybe you can't. But if you never can feel the obligation or justification to take a breath and do what he wants instead of what you want, then school might be better for them than any sort of homeschooling—especially than unschooling, which is all about living in the immediate now.
Living by moments rather than days
BEing with your childoriginal, on Always Learning, April 2014
Perhaps "eating by the clock" has roots in European manor houses filled with servants, where the lady of the house got to choose the times of meals (within the narrow window of what was considered right and proper). In more modern times, eating by the clock has to do with factory lunch breaks and with school bells. The Clock isn't Hungry
Don't be the clock's mother. Don't watch the clock to see if it's time to eat. Watch your child. Or watch the clock to see if it's time to offer another snack, but don't let the clock say "not yet" or "Must EAT!"
It isn't good parenting or self control for an adult who has reproduced to be looking to a mechanical device to make decisions for her. Clocks are great for meeting people at a certain time, but they were never intended to be an oracle by which mothers would decide whether to pay attention to a child or not. Your child knows whether he's hungry. You don't. The clock doesn't either, never did, and never will.
SandraDodd.com/eating/peace
| Look at your child directly, and not through the lens of other people's fears. See the joy and learning and doing and being. Be with your child in moments, not in hours or weeks or semesters. |
