Generic "Support"

Broadcasting "support" hits all the bad guys.

"Magical" jack-off:

Sandra Dodd:

Picture your least favorite politician, and read that again with him in mind.
Picture an as-yet-unidentified serial child molester, and read that again.
Picture (just briefly, don't dwell there) one of the most neglectful or abusive parent you've ever known, and read that with her (it's probably a her) or him in mind.
Now wash your brain out with something happy.

Joyce Kurtak Fetteroll:

I can picture a psychological horror movie based around this.

Sandra Dodd:

The "support" of strangers for strangers is dangerous and harmful.
People near enough to a racist rally might want to print copies of that out and distribute them (maybe with a bottle of water and a smile) to each racist you can find. They just haven't succeeded yet.
Or there's my collection of things moms write to other moms on the internet: SandraDodd.com/support.html
Try not to do it.
Try not to bask in the glow of a stranger telling you you're awesome, and should never change—especially if there are things you probably ought to change. 🙂

Deb Lewis:

Whenever I see "You are special" I think of the One in a Billion t-shirt you saw in India.

Sandra Dodd:

Hema's teen neighbor had it. It had rows of stick-figures and one was a different color and it said "Every Indian is one in a billion."

The Defense

If we were having a formal debate and I were assigned to defend that, I would say that the success and divine beauty and something magical would be the person's complete transformation to someone with remorse and the will to make amends.
There. I made my speech.
I think the defense was unsuccessful.

The art above came by on facebook in 2017, from a site called MagicalRecipesOnline—from their facebook group, but they have a website, too. This is image credit, not a recommendation.

Generic help for moms comes in this form, from one website:

Parts of some of the commentary on that at Radical Unschooling Info on facebook, in 2017.:

Me:

What I want to talk about is WHY people would "be supportive" in such a way that they're saying things that aren't true, or that they cannot know.
The motivation of the writer of the sign-up page for a website is to flatter the reader to "make a sale." Salesmanship.
They don't know who's reading that. Motherhood might look TERRIBLE on her. She might NOT "got this." What would a promise involve, anyway?
If she signs up, though, the mission was accomplished.

Talia Bartoe:

It sounds good. It might feel good to read that. That feeling often keeps someone exactly where they are, instead of looking on how they can do more.

Elisa Josefa Liebelt:

In my opinion it creates a sense of guilt. Questions like why is everyone else amazing at this and it's tough for me? Why does motherhood look beautiful on everyone and on me it looks...frumpy, exhausted, sad, frustrated... This is a sound bite, a commercial, an ad made to create an idealistic picture that doesn't exist and in the end leaves so many moms (and I have been there) feeling less than this ideal and even more confused than when they began searching for helpful ideas.

Lorna Willimott:

If you go through school and your confidence in your capabilities becomes defined by the grades you get from your teachers, then you get a job and the grades get replaced with appraisals and pay rises.
Then you become a mother. Then what?
Do you end up looking for stuff like this for reassurance?

There's more at: at Radical Unschooling Info, if that group is still there.

In 2024 I went to see if I could find other people having written about the "support" of strangers. I found a long list of people asking for explanations of why strangers were more supportive of them than their families were.

This was a Quora topic, and some of the questions were:

Why does it seems like strangers support my dreams and aspirations more than my friends and family do?
Why do I care more about what strangers think than what my family thinks?
Why does it seem like strangers understand us more than our close loved ones?
Why do strangers give me more love than my family?
Why do entrepreneurs usually get more encouragement from strangers than family and friends?
Why does it seem that strangers are a lot nicer to you than the family you grew up with?
Why do complete strangers show more support in your business than friends and family?

The responses seemed to assume that these "strangers" had MET the person asking the question. One respondent did ask if the questioner meant "acquaintances." I didn't see anyone jumping to the idea of REAL strangers, unseen and unseeing, on the internet.

Probably those who are "supporting" entrepreneurs or new businesses don't give a rat's ass if this unseen stranger fails, while relatives are concerned. Maybe the strangers have something to sell, or like the feeling of "contributing" to a project (even if it's a thousand miles away and they'll never see it, and they won't even remember what plan they said "Great!" to).

Perhaps the feeling of having helped someone can come even without the person being helped, so that all that support benefits the strangers who were "being supportive."
(the topic, on Quora)

Support (problems with)

Choices

Random Support generator (for unschoolers)