How bad can it be to just support a mom?

A sad story, moved from the Support page

Pretty bad.

Skip this part if you want. It's harsh. It's not about unschoolers. It's about support, though.

A mom in Florida shot her two teens a few years ago, because they weren't doing what she told them to do. Her friend was interviewed and said (after the incident) that they were smart, good students...
But when they were alive, the angry mom talked to her friend about her frustration. I would be very curious to know what was said, because afterwards, the mom shot those teens.
Her friend should have told her to STOP complaining and appreciate that the kids were good students, and bright, and healthy. Or the friend might have taken the kids to her house for a few days.
But I would bet money that the friend "supported" that frustrated mom, and told her of course she was right, she was a good mom, darn those kids.
If that mom said "You've got this!" or any of the blind support [above, used to say], she was somewhat complicit.
Click here for the list of supportive comments that harm people.

I asked some other unschoolers, who also moderate discussions, whether they thought the story above was too harsh to share here. Here are some of their comments:

I hadn't heard that story. It is tragic. And harsh, but true. At homeschool park days most of the Moms just sit and complain about their kids. I even heard one Mom call her kids 'evil' and everyone had a good laugh. Complaining about your kids together seems to be some kind of Mom bonding experience—they even try to one-up each other with stories about how terrible their kids are....yuck.
It was harsh for the kids !
I remember that story well. Heartbreaking.
Leave it like that. Parents live to complain about their kids. They don't even notice. They love to get support for complaining. I am tired of parents complaining about their children. It is sad, and complaining about your children is what is hard!
Or when they put a 'like' for support! I can't be a hypocrite and tell my friends they are "doing a great job" or "doing their best" when they are not. I honor that friendship by letting them know about other choices and helping them to "dig deeper" on the issue, giving them another perspective...I wouldn't consider myself a good friend if I just tell them what they want to hear. Or just being quiet.

SUMMARY: In a Radical Unschooling discussion, expect people to be supportive of the potential of your children to be in a peaceful, longterm unschooling situation. If you complain about or belittle your children, it's a glaring indication that you have an adversarial relationship, and it would be better for you to move toward being a cheerful and compassionate partner.

The cheeriest, happiest help is: Just Add Light and Stir (quote/image/link, daily, usually)
and you might want to go there now, to recover from this page!

After I had written what's above, and had it on my site for years, that mom appealed, in 2019: Fla. Mom Killed Her Teenage Kids Because They Were 'Mouthy' —and Now She Wants New Trial

A Florida mom who killed her two teenagers in 2011 and then described them to investigators as "mouthy" wants a new trial after her 2014 conviction.

The original article in which they interviewed her friend doesn't seem to be online. I read it in the paper magazine. Here is an article from the first interview after the trial (I think): https://people.com/crime/julie-schenecker-54-says-she-doesnt-regret-killing-kids/

Support (worthless slogans vs. actual support)

Peace

Patience